Jake's Journey with Apraxia

And the Friends We Met Along the Way

Spring has sprung and I know many parents are currently evaluating summer and fall speech therapy options. I am going to speak candidly in this series and I hope that my honesty will help you in your own journey with apraxia. These words are for you as parents and SLPs who care about helping these very special children find their voices.

The purpose of this series is to:

  1. Educate parents on what to expect out of speech therapy.
  2. Educate parents on the treatment of apraxia.
  3. Reassure parents that SLPs are not one-size-fits-all.
  4. Give SLPs a peek into the mind of a parent whose child has apraxia.
  5. Show parents that there are SLPs out there who will respect and value your opinion and also work hard for your child.


Over the course of the 3 years and 3 months that Jake has been in speech therapy, we’ve had five SLPs. If I would have been pleased with #s 1-4, we would never have gotten to #5. It was very difficult to find a speech therapist who was educated in apraxia. I had to do all the research myself, seek out other experienced apraxia mothers, find the best treatments available, and then search for a SLP who was willing to help us.

I truly felt alone in this battle until Jake turned four and we finally found SLP #5.

SLP #1 and #2 both did play speech therapy. Although Jake was only two-years-old, I wish those SLPs would have done more than play with him. I knew then and still know now, that he could have handled more. We could have used Kaufman Cards and hand cues at that age.

I don’t know what this approach would have hurt, even if an apraxia diagnosis couldn’t be given because he wasn’t saying enough words to measure the errors and inconsistencies. Or, when a child is making zero progress, I don’t know why other techniques couldn’t at least be explored.

SLP #1’s job through our state-funded early intervention program, was to primarily teach me how to encourage my then 27-month-old silent son to speak. At the time, I remember thinking to myself …

Why are you talking to me so much in speech sessions? He’s the one who needs help, you’re the expert, spend time with him, not me.

And truly, I was confused, Googling things like – What do speech therapists do in speech therapy? – because I genuinely didn’t know what the typical protocol was. I knew zero about speech therapy at that point in my life and I wish I would have been given more guidance for what to expect in sessions.

But, with all of that said, I really liked SLP #1. I understand now that she was limited with what she could do because she was employed by the government. Looking back, I realize that she did successfully introduce me to the very basics of speech therapy. She taught us basic sign language, gave me literature to read, and encouraged simple communication like “more” and “eat.”

Quite honestly, at that time I was a dramatically different version of myself than I am now. I was a fairly new stay-at-home mom and I wasn’t a natural. I am not too proud to say that I needed help in learning how to play with my child in order to encourage speech.

After a few sessions, I felt like I was doing everything I was supposed to do at home, but still not seeing any results. SLP #1 and I agreed that it was time for Jake and I to move on to a private therapist.

When Jake was 2.5 years old, SLP #2 entered the scene and by this point, I was really starting to question the process of speech therapy.

SLP #2 played with Jake like I played with him at home. She read him books, sang songs, and did cutting and pasting exercises. One of the first nursery rhymes she started with was “Five little speckled frogs, Sat on a great big log, Eating the most delicious bugs…” My child who couldn’t even say mama, just stared silently at her, big smile planted on his face, while she belted out this tune week in and week out.

Once she finally started drilling words, they did not have any rhyme or reason to them. She didn’t work on the same letter or words each week and some of the first words she introduced to him were two-syllable and not simple. This is not how you treat apraxia, or what she viewed as suspected apraxia at that time.

I pressed SLP #2 to make a diagnosis prior to age three, but she would not. Her response, which I will never forget was …

It doesn’t matter if he has x, y, or z, I’m still going to treat him the same way.

When she said this, I remember thinking, If we don’t know what it is, how in the world are we going to fix it? Fear and frustration were quickly setting in as the weeks drug on with SLP #2. I also feel like this speech therapist gave me two pieces of the worst advice I received in this journey.

The first I wrote about in a guest post when I first started blogging …

When we first started this journey, an SLP told me, “You are his mother. You are not his speech therapist. That is my job. Your job is to love and nurture him.” And for a couple of months, I took this advice, breathing a long sigh of relief that teaching him to talk wasn’t my job. 

And the second piece of advice that makes me cringe even still to this day …

He’s not talking because he just can’t. “But”, I can tell he “wants” to talk. He. Just. Can’t.

Can’t … what a discouraging word. “Can’t” is not a word that will motivate a mama. Words that will drive a mother are – Work hard and you will beat this d*#$ thing! Can Not is one step away from Will Not. Will Not means never hearing your child speak. And these words will paralyze all parties involved – SLP, parent, and student.

Jake did speech therapy with SLP #2 from March through May of 2011 at my older son’s elementary school. Her office was across town – nearly an hour drive one way – and when school was out, she did not encourage me to do speech therapy over the summer. She sent me home that summer with two folders of lessons – Three Little Bears and Five Speckled Frogs.

Why didn’t she say – I think it could be apraxia, but I’m not sure. If it is apraxia, your child will need frequent, repetitive, specialized therapy. It is going to take your son a tremendous amount of practice to say even the simplest words. You need to get help asap.

But, no, she didn’t say these words and I went home and enrolled myself in summer school with Google, majoring in apraxia of speech. I would spend the next few months educating myself and playing with my boy each and every day.

Jake made zero progress that summer.

Once school was back in and a few days before Jake’s third birthday in September, SLP #2 officially diagnosed him with apraxia. At that point, I had some education under my belt and knew I must find a better fit for us as soon as possible.

To be continued … Stay tuned for Part 2 of 3 in the next few days.

7 thoughts on “The Journey to Find the Right SLP for My Child: Part 1

  1. Candace says:

    What awesome timing! I am sending a friend over here, whose child may have apraxia. Anyhow, we had one really awesome speech therapist in the middle. We have had 6. I think the one he has now is okay, but I prefer the other one (but her hours make it impossible for him to see her). We had a phenomenal one over the summer, while he was still in EI, but then the summer ended and she went back to work for her school district. That was really rough on us. We saw so much progress with her, and then when she was gone progress not only stopped, but went away.

    1. tstarmom says:

      Candace, As always, thanks for your input. Glad to know I’m not the only mom who has had a lot of speech therapists! I’m glad it’s good timing for your friend. I am going to stop blogging here in August of this year when Jake starts kindergarten and I’m trying to get a few topics in print before then that I feel are important. I caught up on your blog a few days ago and it sounds like you have a lot of challenges going on. So very sorry. You are such an awesome mama for fighting hard for your son! And, you’re also on my Top 5 List of the smartest mothers out there. Hang in there. (And yay for running! I’ve started back too and it makes my body and mind feel so much better. It’s hard to squeeze in, but definitely worth it a few days a week. I’ve been at it for a couple of months now and my endurance is finally getting decent again. 🙂

  2. Brigitte says:

    Hello Tori! I came across your blog while doing a google search for Juice Plus and probiotics for my 23 month old daughter. I started reading bits of your blog, and became completely interested. I went to bed thinking about a lot of what you had written, and had went through with your son. We have some commonalities between us. My middle daughter was given an dx of Apraxia when she was younger, and went through years of speech therapy. She has overcome so much over the years, and one would never know she had Apraxia. My youngest daughter is 23 months, and has quite a few issues going on, a few that you touched on in your blog: eczema,GI issues, food sensitivities, in addition to her own battles too, weak immune system, low muscle tone, etc. I would like to connect with you via email, and ask you some questions.

  3. tstarmom says:

    Brigitte – Welcome to my blog! Thank you for introducing yourself. That is great news about your older daughter beating apraxia. I love to hear success stories! Feel free to email me at tstarmom5@yahoo.com. I’d be happy to talk further with you.

  4. I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve haven’t had a good experience with speech therapy. As a speech therapist myself who treats many toddlers, I believe strongly in play based therapy for the young ones. When apraxia is suspected at such a young age, you can still (and should) use a playful, fun approach but it has to be more systematic and the verbal outputs need to be planned and thought out. Looking forward to hearing about SLP #5!

    1. tstarmom says:

      Kimberly, Thank you for explaining the correct way to do play based speech therapy with suspected apraxia cases. Well said. 🙂 Also, I don’t want to come across as the bratty mom who is bashing speech therapists. I hope I don’t? I value SLPs and their desire to help children find their voices. Thank you for following our story. Hang in there until #5! Such a happy ending…:)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: